Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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