its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
