Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
