winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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