Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
