you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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