so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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