going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and she was petting her beer can
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
