ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
