i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
