I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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