You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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