i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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