found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize