dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
