just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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