even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
