I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
