Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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