btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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