He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
