Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize