drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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