thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize