Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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