I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize