help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I just sharted jello shots
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize