Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
