so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
