I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
