I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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