he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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