I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
