new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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