all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
