There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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