Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
