You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize