No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
