onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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