OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
3 2 1 whiskey
We smell like vodka and hangover
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
