I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
