i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
