She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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