I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
