She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
