so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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