Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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