You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
