Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
