you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
