South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
