It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
