thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My ass is underappreciated
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
