I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
