i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
