is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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