belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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