I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
