I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
