I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You made out with two different species that night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
