i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize