I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
