Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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