My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
