Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
