You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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