you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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