I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
