Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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