Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
this is an emotional support booty call
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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