So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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