omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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