My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
